Night time thunder.

It's raining. Rain tinkles on my roof, tapping at the windows. Thunder rumbles in the quiet of night time. No crickets to be heard tonight. The storm is strong. Morning will bring looking to see what needs to be fixed or replaced. The curse of living in a mobile home with no trees or bushes to block the strength of the wind whipping past. The animals are all asleep, as should I be. The house is quiet and still for once. It's been a hectic few weeks, so many words left unspoken there but I can not give them a voice just yet. Too many internal storms raging. I drink tea and listen to the rain. Essential oils soften the world around me. Music plays softly. Soon I will sleep. And dream. 

 

Music: Mazzy Star / Seasons of Your Day. Tea: Herbal Tea For Sleep / Owens Acres Essential Oil: Breathe / doTerra

Finding My Joy.

Cleaning the kitchen up after dinner, emptying the dishwasher and wiping down the counters I heard the strangest noise. It was a happy noise, sort of a deep rumbling soothing sound. I stopped in the middle of wiping the counter, rag in my hand thinking someone was in the house with me. It wasn't someone else. It was me. I was humming. It was so natural and beautiful. I haven't found joy in the simple action of cleaning in a very long time. I seems that every day spent in the new house brings forth another little bit of joy. Cleaning the kitchen, doing laundry and getting that slight sniff of clean linen, or just simply watching the sun play across the dark hardwood floors. I'm finding my joy again. Who knew it would take a move to find something I thought I'd lost years ago?

Clearly, I've gotten moved after several set backs (the roof getting blown off, sick workers and broken down trucks). I'm slowly making my way room to room decorating and making it feel like a real home. Giving it a touch of myself. It's amazing to lay in bed at night and be exhausted from organizing and unpacking instead of laying there staring at the ceiling and worrying about the million of little things that need to be done. now. tomorrow. next week. year. I sleep at night here. Part of it is the quiet, living next to a 4 lane road was not a good idea! But the major part of it is simply being happy in my space. It's funny how we don't really notice how unhappy or sad we are until we become happy again. It's an amazing thing to discover and enjoy. I plan to get comfortable in my joy and my home.

Find your joy!

 

Wall of Joy!

The beginning of a beginning.

I am sitting in a mostly empty house, surrounded by boxes and totes overflowing with the little bits of my life. This move has brought so many twists and turns with it, emotional and physical. From strange additions to my vents from previous owners to our newest adventure of half the roof being blown off last week. But the emotional seems to be the worst. So many memories are wrapped within these walls, they float by on air currants every time I enter a room now or pack one more box. This was the house I began in, where I found my own wings. I'm more than a bit scared to be leaving it. It's not an ending, it's a new beginning.

 

So I will finish packing my boxes, wrapping the breakable items in tissue and bubble wrap. I will begin to let the memories fall back into their spaces in my mind. It's time to begin the beginning of the next chapter. I may not be able to get the internet back up for a week or so, it depends on how long they take in sending someone out to do it, but I hope it won't be for too long. Hopefully, by my next entry I'll be living and breathing in my new home. 

 

Blessings.

New House... Impatience.

I bought a new house last year, in October. I have been sitting on my hands waiting for the improvements to get finished. New floors, paint and windows. A whole new space to let myself wander in. I'm impatient. The ideas of what I want where, the colors, the design of it all keep running through my head. Some time this week the new floors will be finished after many improvements (the sub-flooring actually fell through where the fridge was located) and stoppages due to weather. The windows will come as soon as that's finished. The painting is all done, the space is bigger and brighter. I want to get in there, add those personal touches that claim it as mine. Owning a home but not being able to make it wholly mine is frustrating. There are little touches, the wide plank counters in the deep walnut stain that screams "mine", or the walls painted in a color called white chocolate, a soft almost buttery white, the new floors that are warm and beautiful... all of it is just a taste of what I'm hoping this new home will bring to me. Peace. Beauty. Comfort. Home. I've missed those words when I think of where I live. 

This is my second home I've owned out right. The one I'm currently living in started out feeling those things. For 4 years I lived here in peace and with a very ordered home. Somewhere along the way it stopped being that for me. I know of many reasons for this but it's turned into an almost loathing of my space, which makes a huge difference when things are going mental in the rest of your life. We all need that feeling of home and safety.  I've stopped thinking of this place as home. Now that I have a new space I'm on pins and needles to get in there and make it mine. Hopefully, before the summer sun shines I will be. I can only keep my fingers crossed. Until that time, dreams and ideas will sustain me in my impatience. Thank all goodness that there is pinterest for my inspirations!